Dark Shadows
by rjwritergirl
Summary: JJ and Reid talk the night of Emily's funeral.  My submission for the March Madness Challenge.


**There are spoilers for Lauren in here, don't read unless you've seen it!**

**This is my submission to the March Madness challenge on Chit Chat on Authors Corner, there are spoilers for Lauren in here, so don't read if you haven't watched!**

**My prompts were: JJ/Reid and the title prompt was Dark Shadows. I hope I did a good job on this.**

**Enjoy!**

Jennifer Jareau quietly walked into the bar. She'd heard from Hotch that Spencer was in here. Emily's funeral had been earlier that day and the younger agent was still taking Emily's death hard. She finally spotted Spencer at the corner of the bar, staring into a shot glass that was still completely full.

"Hey Spence," JJ greeted softly, sitting down on the stool next to him.

"Hey." If he hadn't spoken, JJ wouldn't have known that he knew she was there. He kept staring into the full glass as though somewhere inside was the answer he so desperately needed to question in his life.

"Hotch said you weren't doing too well." JJ hesitantly reached out to him but withdrew her hand before she could touch him.

"I miss Emily." Those three words broke JJ's heart and her throat clogged with tears.

"I miss her too, Spence."

"I was so mean to her after Gideon left and I never apologized for it," Spencer started talking in a rush. "But then in Cyrus' compound she took a beating for me and didn't expect a thank you."

"Emily was-" JJ began to speak but Spencer continued on.

"I always tried to thank her in little ways after that since she wouldn't accept the words 'thank you'. You know her first birthday after that case, when she got flowers delivered and there wasn't a note? That was me. I started getting her coffee in the mornings too." Reid's voice drifted off.

"She was really the best," JJ agreed, her eyes filling with tears - a combination of missing Emily and pain that she couldn't tell Spencer where Emily really was and that she couldn't ease his pain. "When Henry was about a year old I started looking at some sort of bank account or trust fund to put some money into so he could have some money for his education when he gets into college." JJ took in a breath. "Will and I had a little extra money but not enough to start one of the really good funds, so I put the thought out of my mind.

JJ paused as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "When Henry was 18 months old I got a notice from the bank that a high interest savings account had been opened in Henry's name by Emily; she put in enough money so that combined with the interest the account will generate, by the time Henry is 18 he'll be able to go to any school he wants, regardless of the cost." A couple of tears leaked out. "I tried to thank Emily but she said…"

"'You would have done the same for me'," Spencer interrupted. JJ nodded in agreement.

"I-I just wish I could have been able to say goodbye, I mean not even at the memorial service." Spencer kept talking, "I wish I could have been able to say good bye."

"I'm sorry Spence," JJ apologized. _She was already on the way to France_, she added silently. "You know the surgery didn't go well and she didn't look that good - besides, Ambassador Prentiss didn't want an open casket."

"I know, but I finally would have been able to say thank you for her taking the beating at Cyrus' compound and she wouldn't have been able to tell me _not_ to thank her."

JJ smiled ruefully at that. "Emily does tend to get annoyed when she thinks she's getting more credit then she deserves." There was a pause. "Did get annoyed," she feebly corrected.

"I keep expecting her to walk through the door." Spencer sniffled and brushed tears from his eyes, unaware of the verbal slip up.

They drifted into silence that stretched on for several minutes before Spencer spoke again, his voice high with emotion.

"I-we weren't together, but she was my Emily."

JJ didn't say anything; she could tell that Spencer just needed to talk.

"I-" He cleared his throat. "I asked her to the movies; it wasn't really a date, but I wanted to take her someplace so we could have some happy memories made. You know how you brought Henry to the round table room so we wouldn't always have the memories of the cases when we thought about it?"

JJ nodded quietly but Spencer still didn't look at her; he was still concentrating on the glass in of amber liquid. "I wanted to do something like that. Just so we wouldn't always have memories of the cases when she thought of me or I thought of her." Silence stretched between the two agents, JJ began to say something else but Spencer interrupted her.

"She said no." He took in a shaky breath. "Now that I think about it, she would have been going through the Ian Doyle stuff by then. And I didn't see it, all I thought about was how disappointed I was that she said no and that she was going to spend the night with her cat."

"She was incredibly private and she wouldn't have accepted our help then if you or anybody else had offered it," JJ comforted, remembering how hard it had been for Emily to accept the help that had been forced upon her in the hospital after the agent had woken from her surgery.

"But if we had known something was wrong we would have helped her faster and we could have gotten to her faster and then she wouldn't have died," Reid reasoned.

_She's not dead!_ JJ's mind screamed. _She's in France waiting for the Defense Department to give her a new identity and money_! "The doctors worked really hard, they did their best, but there was too much internal damage..."

Reid let a couple of tears fall before speaking again. "I never got to say good bye."

JJ leaned back in her chair, trying not to cry. When she'd started the process of getting Emily hidden she'd known that Spencer would take her "death" hard. Spence always took it hard when somebody left. He'd been hurt when Elle had left and again after Gideon. When _she_ had left, it had taken him nearly two months before he'd called her and asked for an update on her life. Even then, she could still tell that although he knew that her leaving wasn't her fault, it had still hurt the younger agent that she'd left.

And now Emily had "died" and she couldn't tell Spencer - the person who needed to know the most.

"I would have helped her, had I known about this before she left to confront Doyle," Spencer's voice wavered a little bit and JJ bit her tongue to keep from spilling her secret. The only thing that stopped her from easing Spencer's pain was the fact that Emily really _would_ be killed if JJ said anything.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Spencer repeated his question from earlier in the case.

"We all have dark shadows Spence, something that we can't tell anyone else," JJ said dully, realizing how ironic this conversation was. Here they were talking about dark shadows and secrets and JJ's secret was bigger than any other secret. Spencer took out his wallet, tossed a bill on the table and got up.

"Spence…" JJ began, unsure of what to say.

Spencer finally looked at her, a very thin smile on his face. "It's okay JJ, you don't have to say anything," his voice lowered into a very quiet whisper. "I won't tell anyone Emily's still alive."

JJ's eyes widened, about to deny it, but Reid spoke again, "Don't deny it JJ; we both know it's true." JJ swallowed quietly as Reid kept talking. "I won't tell you how I figured it out; it gives you deniability if you're asked about it." He was still quiet.

JJ nodded without saying anything.

"Could you get a message to her?" Reid asked.

"I can't promise, but I'll try." JJ whispered.

Reid eyes filled with tears as he spoke four words from his heart: "Thanks Emily. Good bye."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


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